Random June Rapping

With the rest of the kids out with their academics & internship, I am back alone at home. Things may sometimes quite peaceful & some other times lonely. I enjoyed the peace, taking my sweet time doing anything or doing nothing. Thinking of it, old age eventually come with 'being alone'.

This is where sometimes I gave a lot of thoughts as being a father & the significant other. At this juncture, I've learned that leaning back & giving room to others are the wises approach. It saves myself & others from probable controversies & possible crisis or tense moments. It can be annoying when I can't jump in & give my opinion like the old days but this approach allows them to think & accept whatever the consequences fromt their actions.

It is true that a father figure can be the enemy of the family. He's the bad guy. All things said & did are against their preference, even to the slightest opinion. "You're cruel, orthodox, no sense, etc.". Those are the captions I heard & read from their reactions.

I shall remain passive. Do all the things I love. I just need to follow their routines & abide to their decisions as long as it does not effect me. I will try to restraint myself from saying, "I told you so."

It's the third day after eid adha. It rained this early morning, draining away my plan to go for a run after so many days hiatus. I've lost that momentum. I need to regain the passion despite obstacles such as laziness, expensive event fee & boost from new shoes. I need renewed purpose. HEALTH & STRENGTH. That would do it but I need to grip the purpose strong.

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June Part 2

Dah masuk minggu kedua Jun. Rasa macam dah lama since last posting aku padahal awal Jun hari tu. Hahaha! Raya haji 17-Jun, lagi 3 hari. Aku bz print baju sukarelawan korban surau. 100 helai. Aku ambil masa 4 hari. Pagi aku print batch by batch. Petang aku lipat. Mujur cuma artwork kecik print kat dada kiri so pantas la jugak & tak perlu nak setting beriya sangat untuk make sure tegak dll. Kalau artwork besar memang leceh sikit & sensitif apatah lagi bila senget. Dah jadi kat beberapa job, mujur tak obvious sangat tapi knowing aku yang cerewet dengan kualiti kerja memang rasa sedikit tak puas hati. Polo Microfiber Untung job baju korban sebenarnya dah habis aku guna untuk bayar bil. TNB, Air Selangor, Unifi, Digi, Bil TNB & Air Selangor memang tinggi sikit 1-2 bulan lepas sebab rumah penuh. Tambah pulak ada paip bocor selepas meter. Hmmm...so basically angan-angan aku nak ada extra sikit dari untung job korban ke angin lalu je. Even, hasrat untuk sign-up ScoreRun 1OK pun dah

June Final Part ...kot

Semalam aku came across kat @threads (dulunya panggil Twitter) ada sorang runner yang training lari lebih kurang macam aku walaupun dia baru 32 tahun. HM PB dia 2:02. Basically yang sama sebab dia guided by COROS training load approach. Bila training intensity/load tinggi, hence ada fitness improvement. So dia cuma lari 2-3 kali seminggu termasuk 1 long run on weekends & 1 interval training. Aku memang ke arah training method macam tu juga sebab lately aku kurang berlari setiap hari & bila ada peluang, aku akan lari ikut feel, effort & sambil-sambil monitor heart rate. Aku tak ikut heart rate zones sangat. So far base pada past experience, training yang easy resulted to slow progress. Walaupun orang kata kena sabar & trust the process tapi kadang-kadang masa & peluang untuk aku bukan satu luxury. Apatah lagi bila badan rasa sendu dari aktiviti lain selain berlatih. Probably aku akan guna pakai method ni buat masa ni dulu & see how it goes bila aku dapat sign up

Sigma - Alpha

Quite some time ago aku ada find out peoples' characters. Google sana sini. Basically more kepada nak determine myself. Siapa aku? Who am I? How do I fit in the social hierarchy? Unfortunately or shall I say, relieved , hierarchy dari Alpha sampai ke Omega ke bawah, Sigma is not anywhere in between. In fact Sigma sama level dengan Aplha dan tidak langsung berada dalam social hierarchy. He's outside the circle/pyramid, on his own doing whatever independantly. Aku ada most of the Sigma karakter. That's why kadang-kadang aku lebih prefer untuk avoid & leave whatever benda or situasi yang mengarut especially dari seorang alpha yang palatao. To me, he's totally fake & full of crap. His moral compass require calibration. Aku boleh bertahan up to certain level. When I'm done, I'll leave. The wisest thing to do. Itu yang pernah aku buat masa aku resign from my latest job a few years back. Bila CEO dah mula palatao & ada simptom nak scam aku, aku terus tender

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